Christy - I'm so sorry you have had to put your job on hold! We are doing the same thing this year and to be honest it was driving me nuts but I'm getting a handle on it. The time will come when we can get back to where we want to be! Maz is right it is still important to do things for ourselves. As for your moment with Matilda, Xander says the same thing about being taken away or being "out of our family" and yet we haven't (that I can remember) mentioned something along these lines. Is it possible that rather being drawn on what you have said it's a common fear they share?

Maz - what you said about how much you change the way we do things to accommodate them is so true, I didn't even know I was doing it until Ds was diagnoised last year and DH and I were at each others throats all the time over routine issues DH refused to comply with. I have to say Xanny's dx was the best thing for our marriage in a long time! Now we work together on helping Xan cope and giving each other Xanny free time.

I am so sorry you have had such a crap start to the year. Wish there was more I could do for you.

MBP - welcome! keep a diary of all the behaviours etc you are noticing and are concerned about so when you get to your ped you are armed and prepared. Hope it all goes well and that you can find a daycare solution. We were very blessed in that our man took to daycare like a duck to water, they were a privately run centre and had a very good routine so Xander thrived. Perhaps rather then looking for a new place they could make some changes to their environment and routine to help him relax. Things like have a labeled drink bottle for him. Allow him to have a time out space. Use visual cueing systems and a visual routine/schdule for him to follow?

Nicky C - Welcome, I'm so pleased you are feeling at home, it's great to find people that understand where you are coming from isn';t it. Look forward to sharing the jurney with you.