Blonde, your choice is your own and no one can take that away from you. There is nothing to apologise for or feel guilty about in choosing a c/s.

Having said that, maybe it's worth exploring why it makes you feel bad to be considering c/s this time. Do you feel supported by your care providers and your DH? Do you think there are things that happened in your DS's birth that you need to debrief so that you can feel at peace and able to prepare yourself this time (regardless of your choice)? Do you think maybe you'd like more info before you choose, or to explore all the options a bit more?

Whatever it is that you need to do, do it and you can really own your choice. Then you won't care what anyone you speak to thinks about your decision, you'll be at peace with it.

Think about what you really want from this birth. Research how to get that. Find care providers to support it. You know your body best, so decide what really matters to you in this birth.

FWIW the experience of your first birth does not have to be repeated second time around (I and many other women on here can attest to that). But you can't expect to prepare yourself the same way, go with the same care providers, in the same setting and have a completely different outcome. Something does have to change. Maybe it is the way you plan to give birth (ie elective c/s), maybe it's some of the other things around you. I think you're wise not to go with those you feel let you down. I'm so sorry you weren't respected for your first birth.

Wishing you the best as you get ready to welcome your new baby.