My Caesarean Scar says...

[Rouge]

eta: it may help to look at it this way, would you call someone else a "failure" because they had a caesarean?

Absolutely not, but I know a lot of women that were failed by the system and as a result ended up with a caesarean that really could have been prevented.

I think that's how some people feel, and that's valid too. And often when you feel as though you've failed it is because you were failed, and like all mothers we take that responsibility on as our own... I could have done this and that and this. I had to give that away as I knew it was hurting me more than helping. But I still feel as though I was failed by the system. But I have learnt to look at the positives even through this. If my birth is a warning to others, then so be it. If I can help other women be aware of their own choices, and the empowerment that comes with that (And I see elective c/s as a perfectly good choice... if it's the mother's choice), then that makes me feel that the scar has it's blessings.

[nothing2lose]

I actually agree with you Rouge - and I think you hit the nail on the head about some women feeling like they failed because the system failed them. I don't think it is right that we take on this guilt or feeling of shame or failure. In doing so we are letting "the system" off the hook. Being failed isn't you failing. In this instance, saying you failed means you are somehow culpable. Very few women are, in my opinion. But a hell of a lot of women are happy to put their hands up and say, "I had a caesarean, so therefore I failed".