My Caesarean Scar says...

[Blondie]

I had a VB first time around and yes I gave birth the way nature intended but I would never consider myself above those who had a C-Section both elective or otherwise. Birthing is individual. It's your baby and your birth.

I really do feel for those people who think that they have failed...and I don't understand why they would think that about themselves but we each have our own demons and I respect that people all have different expectations of themselves. I did have some issues to deal with after my Son's birth but me thinking I failed wasn't one of them.

I haven't had my section yet - but for me, I will look at my scar and think, this was my bith, my way and I made the right decision based on what I wanted.

I would encourage people to not look at someone elses birth and think that theirs should have been the same or better. Yes we have a right to have our own birth, the way we would like it but life doesn't always go to plan...and we don't always get what we want, the important thing is to remember we carried and birthed a baby. They are here and safe in our arms. We are very lucky to have been given a chance to experience motherhood and the many things that come with it some within and some not within our control

[Lenny]

I haven't had my section yet - but for me, I will look at my scar and think, this was my bith, my way and I made the right decision based on what I wanted.

I would encourage people to not look at someone elses birth and think that theirs should have been the same or better. Yes we have a right to have our own birth, the way we would like it but life doesn't always go to plan...and we don't always get what we want, the important thing is to remember we carried and birthed a baby. They are here and safe in our arms. We are very lucky to have been given a chance to experience motherhood and the many things that come with it some within and some not within our control

Blonde -please don't try to simplify my c section experience by saying that life doesn't always go to plan. Please don't suggest that I am looking at other people's births and thinking mine should have been the same or better. I share in the joy when mums have awesome birth experiences and I sympathise in their feelings, whatever they may be when the birth does not go how they had hoped and dreamed. Please don't suggest to me that because my child is safe in my arms then it doesn't a matter because I still carried and birthed a baby.

When you say things like some things in life aren't in our control it makes me feel very sad. The birth of my baby should be something that I have control over. It's my baby and my body. Why should someone else assume control over that. It's an absolutely nightmarish situation to watch as all your control is stripped from you and you are bullied and crying all on your own. We don't always get what we want, that is true -but we should never ever get put in that situation.

I get that that is how you feel about it, but don't please suggest to me that that is how I should feel about it. It makes me feel even worse about myself when other people's comments imply that it's not really that bad.

I am grateful everyday for my chance at motherhood. I should be allowed my feelings regarding my c section without someone suggesting that I might be ungrateful that I am a mum and have the chance to a wonderful relationship with my child. I know very well how lucky I am to be a mum.

[LizLemon]

Lenny.

Blondie, I'm really glad that you are looking positively at your decision. Everyone is different and what is pain to someone won't be to someone else. Every feeling is valid.

I had two elective c-sections on the advice of my OB and while I wish I'd had vbs from the pov that they are less risky going forward, it is honestly something I don't even think about or judge myself on. But maybe that's because I don't feel that I was pressured or forced into the decision, and while my c-sections may in retrospect have been unnecessary (who knows how it would have panned out), I still made the call at the advice of someone I trusted and respected, and who ultimately delivered me two healthy bubs.

So my scar to me is just a reminder of those lovely days when my kids were born. I'm very fortunate for this and I feel for anyone whose scar is a negative reminder.

[Blondie]

Lenny: Woah! I'm sorry you took such offense. To be honest I find your response completely and utterly insulting. You have totally twisted my message around to make it seem like a personal attack on all people (and you have seemingly made this about yourself in particular like I am mentioned YOU? ) who haven't coped with their birth, which it is not. I am just providing a different perspective on what we as mothers must sacrifice sometimes to have our babies mentally and physically. Birthing is both a mental and physical act and I would NEVER suggest that people couldn't have feelings one way or another and that their feelings weren't important. I struggle with how you managed to glean from my message above that I was implying that mothers who have feelings seem ungrateful of the chance to experience motherhood I don't know which is worse, you thinking I am attacking people or the fact that you are clearly judging me without knowing me or my situation.

[Rouge]

I know you probably meant well Blondie but this is a very emotive topic. I don't think that Lenny was attacking you but moreso talking about how your post made her feel. I think that's ok yanno? Especially given this is a section for those who have experienced c/s. Again I have to say I agree with Lenny in that what YOU feel isn't what someone else feels, or what I feel. And telling us that Life doesn't sometimes go how its planned often feels like "Just get over it you've got a healthy baby." It hurts. And it invalidates the disempowerment felt.