Starrysky, there are many of us here who can empathise with you and understand how you feel. As the others have said you need to cry and grieve and get it all out but it doesn't mean that you have to ever 'get over it'. Almost 3 years on and I am still wondering what I could have done differently etc. I think I have accepted it but I will never forget it and I will always wonder what would have happened if I have done a, b or c.

So come in here and vent, rant, cry, grieve, debrief as much as you feel that you need to - we are all here for you and we do understand!