I don't know what to do

[Katiegirl]

Hi - I just wanted to add that my nephew whilst not quite the handful that Evan is, can also be very difficult to control at home but all reports from school is that he is the perfect student. He is now 10 and I admit that I struggle with him at times. My sister sees a lot of herself in him - in that she was probably what people these days would call 'hyperactive', so I think sometimes she washes over his behaviour. I once told him to pick up a towel he had thrown on the floor to have my sister say in front of him 'You do not need to tell my children what to do' - so of course he repeats that whenever I ask (or tell) to stop something. It is infuriating!!! The fact that he can control his behaviour at school shows he knows how to control himself and chooses not to when at home.

My sister and her DH use a point system (and this goes for his brother as well) - he has been told that for each time he is naughty etc he receives a point - if he gets to 20 or so points he won't be allowed something. This can even be something huge like a birthday party. It is probably more encouraging if he got a point for 'good' behaviour but that doesn't really seem to register with him - so knowing he has 15 points and only another 5 to go before he loses something he wants (like the party or going to a movie etc) it does seem to make him stop and think. He is the loveliest child and so affectionate but my goodness he knows exactly how to wind me up!!!

I think stopping the pocket money and making him earn his treats is a great idea. It has started to drive me insane with my nephew 'expecting' me to buy him things - he now has a habit of saying 'you can buy me this or that'. It stems from me spoiling him and his siblings rotten when they were younger and I was single (and had more money than sense obviously). I think you are doing a great job and should not be too hard on yourself.