Being a united force with your DH is very important I agree Nadine. I also think balancing the discipline with love and affection is important. My Dh is quite strict but he also is quick to forgive and move on... I think this is extra important with kids because their memory is shorter than ours and if you seem to be grumpy about an issue for too long they fail to link cause and effect IYKWIM.

Regarding the smacking: no lecture here But it could be time to re-think that strategy. At about 7 my DD (when she simply thought she was going to receive a smack from DH) ran out to the front nature strip and yelled: "YOU'RE GOING TO SMACK ME... LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!!!" at the top of her lungs. Smart girl hey? your son can comunicate now (many use smacking on children who don't understand anything else)... smacking will only humiliate him and a humilated child will always work against you in some way or another... that is one area where they DO have a longer memory!!! DH and I were never regular smackers despite what she claimed!... but it obviously had a bigger effect on our DD than we knew. Just a suggestion. I wouldn't worry about the pocket money. You shouldn't have to "buy" good behaviour. Our DD never received money for co-operating or doing what simply had to be done like dressing herself... she got it for "extra" effort... like helping me do my chores (like helping at the supermarket, washing the car etc). Just some more thoughts. The biggie (of all my suggestions, I know there are a few now LOL) is to Catch him being Good! And praise him