Meow, don't feel bad. If I have another baby at least one of m/w's will be different to the two I had for DD2 and DD3. The most obvious excuse is that I would rather not freebirth again, but I also have a m/w I've met since DD2 that I just gel with. I really want her to be there if I do it again and conveniently, she's also the closest. I was so disappointed when at my first group get together after DD3's birth she told us we should have called her (when my m/w was on her way and clearly not going to make it)!

Do what feels right for you. *hugs*