Dot Face, I think that those feeling are common for anyone who didn't get the birth they had planned, regardless of what they were planning itms. My son was to be born in a hospital and I was happy with that but I really wanted to do it naturally, picked a hospital with birth pools in the room etc. Then I got GD and by the time the birth rolled around I was being pressured to induce and eventually did. Then because of the GD I wasn't allowed to go in the pool, then my sugars went crazy so I ended up on the bed with an insulin/glucose drip, then the epidural, threats of C-section, some thing where they put electrodes on his scalp to check oxygen levels, then when he was born they moved to cut his cord instantly and the first word he ever heard was me saying 'No' as I tried to stop them. They did it anyway and whisked him over to the resus table because he was grey.

It is very frustrating and does take a while to get used to. I dwelled on it for ages. I think it is that you stop being an individual with choices and just get sucked into the medical machine, one thing after another and you feel you can't say no to any of it because they are trained medical staff telling you what needs to happen and you want to do what is best for your child no matter if it seems wrong.

I don't actually have any words of wisdom for you because I didn't really get over it until I birthed my second child, so calm and relaxed.