On second thoughts, Sarah - lets leave it here. Hopefully people who see this can learn something along the lines of what not to say to a person doing IVF.

I think BG has put everything so beautifully - the calm voice of reason that is eloquently saying everything I'm feeling but am just too angry and frustrated to communicate clearly.

In my case, I had to tell people at work because I was facing being extremely ill with OHSS - people had to know what we were dealing with. However, when we got to the less-invasive FET cycles that were much easier on my body - they simply didn't need to know, but wouldn't butt out. When I miscarried, things became even more public in my work place. Now, when things have gone so badly recently, I just want to do this privately and quietly.

I really couldn't give a damn whether the questions are whispered to me when taken aside or shouted across a crowded room - it's a blatant invasion of privacy and bordering on downright offensive! There are as many people at work who know about my arthritis (probably more, because most of my students know also - need to give some sort of explanation for the days I don't move much and drop stuff constantly), but nobody feels the need to pull me aside and ask about my arthritis.

It's simply a question of why should my infertility be open for discussion when the arthritis is not?

ok, getting annoyed again, time to walk away for a bit.

BW