Hi all

This is a bit sensitive but i wanted to ask your opinion on something.

I was talking to my contact from SIDS and KIDS yesterday on the phone. I was saying that i think that i am dealing with everything ok (well the best that i can) but the only thing that i thought that i have a problem with is talking to and seeing people. I feel like i dont want to talk to any of my friends or family, i feel reasonable happy if i am on my own or with Rowan . I know that this sounds bad but i guess it is just a way of protecting myself. I know that it is bad but i am trying to work on it but it is so hard. Anyway Jacki said that it sounds like i have a bit of depression. I know that my docs were talking between themselves about keeping an eye out for postnatal depression after Katelyn was born but none of them have mentioned anything to me. I also want to say that i get out of the house. I have been walking at least 1 hour everyday and on the weekends i like to go to the movies with my hubby, i can laugh and smile about some things but the sadness is always there. We live in a pretty small town so we go to the nearest city to do some shopping (and the movies) and we usually run into people. Its just that i dont feel like dealing with other people i am just happy being with Rowan on my own whether we are at home or out. Its just that she has got me worried that maybe i am not handling this the best possible way? Any suggestions or comments?????

I kind of just think that this whole thing is so huge for me at the moment. With deciding on the treatment, worrying about the needles, worrying about getting pregnant again, worrying that because last AF was around for longer than usual that my hormones are out of wack, worrying about what to do about my mum's actions, worrying that another baby will make it, worrying about what my dad's test results say. I guess that there is alot on my mind at the moment.

Thanks guys

Sarah