Hey everyone,

Thanks for the support - I dont know what i would do without you all - Probably go insane i guess. Its amazing how supportive we can be to each other.

Meg - LOL about our mum's. That made me laugh im sorry that your mum has hurt you too. I know they dont mean it. I think about how much i love Katelyn and that my mum loves me that much then she wouldnt mean to hurt me. KWIM? Thanks for being so positive about everything you really "picked me up" when i needed it.

Zola - Firstly, how are you feeling? Have you got rid of the dreaded lurgy? Hope you are feeling better. Thanks im sure that we will patch things up - we are really very close she just gets on my nerves sometimes you know. But i am sure that's normal.

Becc - It took me a long time before i could post to someone else (because i was feeling so low myself i didnt think i could help anyone). You did a great job. Thanks for caring about me because i know how hard it is for all of us at the moment. I read what you wrote about going for a walk in your other post. That was the thing that the chaplin from the hospital basically forced me to do. And i have found that it really helped. I get up early (far too early) and walk my husband to his parents for work, that way we get in about 25/30 mins together before we start our days which is really really nice. Then i keep walking for about another 40 minutes. Just around the houses etc where we live. It is quite bushy and i saw two small kangaroos sitting as i walked past the other day. I stopped and looked at them for awhile. They were so beautiful and peaceful and only about 2 meters away. There are also lots of ducks around and i really like it. It helps me to put my head into order for the day. And it also forces me out of the safe haven that my house has become. Hope you are having a good day too.

Angel - Isnt it funny about our dreams it must be about saving people that we couldnt no matter what we did. With my grandad we had to turn off life support and they tried for ages before that to keep him here. One of the books that i have on pregnancy loss said about saying goodbye gradually is our way of protecting ourselves because we cant face it all in one go. Last week i had a huge cry (i mean huge) and its funny that you can be so distressed and then feel better because i let everything out. It didnt take away the hurt and sadness but it did make me feel a bit more at peace with everything (which was then destroyed by my weekend). I hope that you are ok.

On a side note my mum just gave me a letter saying how sorry she is and how much she loves me. At least i am lucky that i have my mum here at all.

Thanks again you guys have made me see that maybe people knowing isnt such a bad thing after all. I still dont want them to know but what's done is done. Hope you are all going well today.

Lots of Love Sarah