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Thread: Can I share?

  1. #37
    meg Guest

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    Chandra,
    Sorry to hear of your losses. As women we connect so early with the baby we are carrying, it doesn't matter how far along we are, it feels like a baby and we lose all our hopes and dreams along with baby when things don;t go right. You are completely justified to feel how you feel. Unless you have been through this experience it is so hard to understand what it feels like. For anyone who has been through this we know how hard to lose these little souls. Whilst we may accept what has happen, we will never forget and I think that many of us feel sadness when we think of the little ones we have lost, no matter how long ago it was. Come chat whenever you like, whether you are having a good or bad day we are all here to support one another.


  2. #38
    kirsty Guest

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    Dear Zola,
    Have finally gotten off my butt (I guess I've been caught up in all that we've been going through) & read your story & am so sorry for all that you & DH have been through. However I must say that you should be so proud of Felius for being brave enough to get on here & tell his side of things, I only wish my DH would talk (even to me would be enough!). After reading your posts & everyone else's, I also feel at times that people are saying & doing exactly what we have done at times.
    I must say I love the tattoo idea, I have 2 myself & have thought about getting something to do with my kids but after losing Alex wasn't sure what we were going to do in the future so have put it off for now. Just in case we get brave & decide to TTC, which we will but not for a little while. Maybe when our family is complete one way or another I'll get one. I know how you feel when you say you are worried about another PG, I am scared silly at the thought of even being PG at the moment, & know that if we are PG again I will worry the whole way through until I hold a healthy baby in my arms. My DH is slowly starting to understand just how worried I am about it, & he is being as supportive as he can be. He is not a big shower of his emotions so this makes me appreciate him even more when he does show them to me.
    Anyway hope that you & Felius are going okay & again sorry it took me so long to get around to reading your story, as I really appreciate all your posts & support. So huge thanx & :hugs: coming your way.

  3. #39

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hobart, Tasmania
    Posts
    278

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    Hey Kirsty

    I just finished reading your post in the other thread and was about to reply, and then saw this one...

    I'm really glad to hear that you're doing a bit better and that your DH is making a real effort.
    I know that it took Felius a long time to get me to open up withi him about our losses and it was frustrating for him sometimes. I think we both knew that he could never fully understand, but it was good to share the emotions we both had. It was really good for me to see how much he need me, as well as me needing him. It actually took him longer than me this time round to come to terms with things and be ready to start TTC again. but now we're BDing away and have our fingers crossed. I even managed to buy an adorable little outfit today for our baby box.

    I totally know what you mean about being scared. I don't think I'll be able to relax until I'm holding our baby in my arms too. It's a bit difficult to know that I won't be able to fully relax and enjoy just being pg...but oh well.

    Please don't apologise about not catching up on me! After what you've been through you shouldn't be worrying about my silly life It's my pleasure to try to give a little bit of support where I can.... no one should have to go through this sort of thing alone.

    Ohhh....what are your tatts??? I'm thinking about getting another one...taking me up to 5 They really are addictive

    Anyway, mammoth post over. I hope you continue to keep getting stronger everyday, and I wish you loads of :luck: for your next pg.

    :hugs: right back at ya

  4. #40
    kirsty Guest

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    Hey Zola
    The first tatt I got was of 3 dolphins on my right shoulder blade about 9yrs ago & then about 7yrs ago I got a blackwork band with a rose threaded in it on my left ankle. I could have so easily gotten more as I found them rather addictive! However as I said before now I might wait & see what happens as far as another baby goes first.
    Please forgive me if I ask things that you have already talked about but I was wondering if you & DH are trying for another baby yet? My DH & I have spoken about it but haven't set any firm dates yet as I am not ready for that just now. But I am hoping that we get around to it sooner rather than too much later, we have said we'd like to give ourselves about 6mths to come to terms with losing Alex & all that trying for another baby involves. By involves I mean all the stress & worry that I'm sure we'll (I know I will anyway) find ourselves coping with. I really am trying to tell myself that if my OB has confidence in our ability to have another baby then I should try & let go of my strong fear & try to look on the bright side of it all. I know that right now I'm not in the right mind frame to be PG anyway, am way too scared of what happened with Alex happening again & I think that until I can let go of that fear PG is probably the last thing I need to be. But we'll get there & when the time is right we'll make that next step.
    Hope that you & DH are well & enjoying life

  5. #41

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hobart, Tasmania
    Posts
    278

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    Hey Kirsty

    The tatt on your ankle sounds great! I wanted to get a Celtic knotwork band around mine, but it was too detailed and too small so I just got a triquetra on the front of my ankle.

    Well Felius and I are currently TTC. We have been for the last month. I think I was ready to start again after our last m/c early this year, but Felius was a bit more scared than I was. I think finding BellyBelly has helped him a huge amount. Just seeing what other couples have gone through has helped him to figure out what's been going on in my miind sometimes. So last month we decided we were ready to try again. I know that getting that BFP will never have the same excitement as it did the first time. We'll be scared the whole way through.

    It's good that you're giving yourselves some time to greive for Alex, and to thank him for coming into your lives. You sound like you've given things a lot of thought. You'll try again when you're ready, and only you can decide when that is.

    Wishing you all the best for the next few months. When it all gets too much you can always turn to BB....sometimes talking to people who understand is the best thing.

  6. #42
    kirsty Guest

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    Hey Zola
    DH & I were talking last nite & I had said to him how much I miss being PG, & he asked if I wanted to start TTC now! I said no not just yet & I think he was a bit upset. I mean I'd love to move on to TTC but think I am too scared in thinking what could go wrong. Which I know is silly as this time we are going to go to an OB as well as our own Dr, so I know that things will be monitored better. I just feel that my body needs some time to go back to normal & for me to emotionally get to the point where I can go think of TTC without all the "what ifs". Hope that he understands where I am coming from, I think he does but he just says it is up to me. So don't really know if he is fine with it or not, guess time will tell.
    Good luck to you guys in the TTC! Have they been able to give you any reasons as to why you m/c? You are extremely strong & brave in my eyes to be able to keep trying for a baby. I really hope things work out for you guys.

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