Kristy, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you the answers to make it all better but sadly I don't think that they exsits. I have never been in your position but can honestly say I hope I am never there as I would not cope at all.

I googled VATERs & the very first site listed is a MSNgroups site & seems to have a very informed page of information about this syndrom. I wont copy & paste on to here though. If & when you are ready you may like to have a look at it. I may give you some answers.

Big hugs to you & I hope that you have a future filled with the joy that children bring. Hugs to you & your DH.