Today seems particularily hard. It is a week since we had the memorial service for Harrison and my mind is running into overdrive. I keep thinking what if I had gone to hospital earlier, maybe my little boy would be here with me. The labour keeps going over and over in my mind also. I know what I am feeling is all totally normal, but it just hurts so much.

Thanks to all the wonderful women who have suggested ways to remember Harrison. The midwife's at the hospital helped my Hubby and I create some really cherished memories. I guess one saving grace is that for the day we had him, Harrison looked just like a normal bub so we have some pictures, footprints and a lock of his hair. I find myself looking at those pictures all throughout the day just trying to convince myself that this isn't a joke.

I gives me such strenght though to know that there are women out there who have survived this. My hubby thinks we should try to get out of the house later on this week, if only just for a short while.. It will be just over two weeks since I had Harry and I am not sure if I can manage it. He thinks some time in the fresh air will be good for us if only for a few moments.

For those of you have suffered loss, how long did it take you to face the world?