Hi Kristy,

Please dont say that because you couldnt make it out of the house just yet that the attempted trip was a "failure", you have come further than before to heading out that door and that has to be an acheivement in itself. Maybe leaving the house is just to much just yet, can i just suggest sitting outside in the sunshine (providing its sunny there of course) can be your first step and dont be too hard on yourself. I didnt really do anything socially until 6 months after Katelyn had been born and of course i would have been 3 months pregnant with Lucy at that time aswell.

I cant tell you how we all found the strength to get pregnant again but for me i just wanted to experience some of the joy of pregnancy again (like having a great scan etc) rather than just Katelyn's loss. I tried to go on thinking like Mel said that Katelyn would have wanted me to be happy and if she was here she would have loved little brothers and sisters (as i was an only child after my parents had 9 miscarriages and that was all i can remember wanting as a young child) so i had to keep trying to fall pregnant. I did at times feel guilty for wanting another child but you know that your love for Harrison can never be replaced and it will never be deminished when another child is born, he and his twin will both always have their special places in your heart and having a sibling for them is not a betrayl. I like to think that Katelyn understands all these thoughts that float around in my head as i do feel her presence with me everyday.

There are other things that i have done to remember Katelyn and if you like i can share these with you next time i post. Like i have said before i am an open book.

Love Sarah xx

Hi Mel,

I havent read your story (i will go there in a second) but i am really sorry to hear about the loss of your little boy. I am 2 and a half years down the track from when Katelyn was born and i do still have good and bad days and cry at the drop of a hat too but the good days will start to outnumber the bad as you find a way (which we all do) to celebrate the miracle of your sons life in your life. As you have said another pregnancy will be an extremely anxious time but there is lots of support on BB to help you through. I am currently in my second pregnancy after having Katelyn (the first after resulted in my beautiful daughter Lucy who is the light of my life) and both times i have relied heavily on the support of my friends on BB like Bec77 above to help me through so there are lots of people here for you when that times comes because nobody who hasnt lost a baby can truly understand how difficult it is to try again. I will go and read your thread now.

Love Sarah xx