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Thread: Premmie Mums #2

  1. #19

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    Im so diappointed... after waiting a week for a kammed bed to come available (Anneliese is too small and not holding her own body temp well enough to go straight into an open cot) one finally dyesterday... but the nurse noticed she was looking a little yellow, and tested her sbr levels... she was dot on the cut off, 170. So they had to give it to the newhen next baby, and leave Annelise in her isolette, as there's no point in taking her outreal bad , to have to put her back in a day later to go under lights. That, coupled wit stinks h the fact that her weight gain was only 38g over 3 days... im feeling like crap today. How i wish she had just stayed in a little longer... they've fortified her feeds now, so hopefully that helps. She's still breastfeeding when i offer it to you, and one of the nurse, who i've talked a little bit to, and she knows how awful i've been feeling lately, has assured me that this is really good. I just want her to come home asap, and steps like this just feel like it'll be forever until she will be home... sorry to vent, i just feel like crap today. I want her to be fine.


  2. #20
    tiggy Guest

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    Hey Simone,
    Sorry to hear that you are feeling like crap. Having a premmie baby is really hard on the emotions.
    Annaleise is doing so well, a gain is a gain after all, she could have lost weight. You will find she will pack on the weight now, with the fortifier. Ivy and Noah were struggling too but as soon as they started putting that stuff in their ebm they took off.
    I know you think that she is helpless outside in the world when she should be still inside you but she's out now and she is doing well. You and she are both so strong. There are going to be lots of days when you struggle. I remember not being allowed to hold Noah for a week because of his breathing problems. By the end of that week I felt so withdrawn from him, like he wasn't my baby but finally he turned the corner and I got a really beautiful cuddle and it restored my faith in the NICU and in my baby and in the fact that their birth had happened for all the right reasons, just as Annaleise's has. You grew her to a great size for 30 weeks! I don't know what else to say, it's so hard but you have to keep the faith.

  3. #21
    tiggy Guest

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    Carrie,

    YAY that Kyla has put on weight and that she like the yoghurt!
    You are right, you shouldn't be too worried. I bet Kyla will just take off soon and you won't look back!

    AWWW thanks for saying that I'm a supermum, some days I don't feel super at all and as yet, I don't know if I can do work and seven kids heh, it'll be a trial and error kind of thing.

  4. #22

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    Thanks for your kind words, i have kept everything bottled up for so long, and i think that maybe im starting to get abit down. I've been so careful, as iv had such bad prob with depression, but dh just said to me maybe its time to get a check up, as its been consistent for like 2 weeks. Greta, another problem to contend with... but as i was once told - "God wont give you a challenge unless he thinks you can handle it." This is just another challenge to make me a stronger person... Sory for the depressing spin im putting in this forum today!!!

  5. #23
    tiggy Guest

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    OMG Simone, You're not putting a depressing spin on things!
    Don't get me wrong. Having a prem baby is so hard and, like you I have struggled with depression, so know how easy it is to spiral down.
    It is so understandable that you are feeling this way and you vent, cry and scream here all you like, Lord knows I do That's what we're here for, to support one another.
    Hang in there hun.

  6. #24

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    thanks
    MIL is coming around, and as dh is working all weekend, she's lending me her car so i can go see bub, im going to get dh to take the boys so they dont run a muck in the nursery, and finally get some quality time with my daughter. i just hope my plans work out...

  7. #25

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    Simone- Hang on there hun, thats what we are here for,we understyand what you are going through.
    Well Pat finally put on 100g, so the formula feeds are staying as well as the BF.

  8. #26

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    Great news Jess.
    Simone - hope you have a nice day with your little bubba.

  9. #27

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    I didnt even get to have a cuddle, and i saw her for less than a minute. She's back under lights, her sbr level's are at 177... just over the cut-off. It does this every week. When i got there, the boys started running a muck, and i asked for a breast feed, and the nurse just looked at the boys and said "are you sure?" i told her their dad was coming to pick them up... then dh rang, whinging he was sore, and he was going straight home. I told him that i wanted to bf bub, and to come pick up the boys, and he said he was alost home anyway! even after he told me he would be going straight to the hospital. So after peering into her cot for like 20 seconds, the boys went crazy, and i had to leave. I cried all the way to the car, and for about 15 mins in the car. DS kept teling me to "calm down mum, dont cry!" And DH told me to put the kids to bed, and go in and spend as much time with her as i wanted tonight, and then spent the entire evening whinging he never see's her - he goes in after work most days. I havent held my bubba for 2 days, and i cant go in to see her tomorrow, as dh has to do overrtime to earn enough to buy ds some birthday presents... mooney has been so tight lately. So i wont even get to go in tomorrow at all. I hate this, is just wish she had stayed put so i could be like all the other mums that were in the ward with me, and had my baby with me, then taken her home. Instead i have to ask a nurse to take her out of the isolette for me, and generally it take about 1/2 an hour to get their attention just to ask, and im so priveledged (sp?) just to breastfeed her, which i've done about 3 times. Sorry to have such a long rant, i'm hijacking this thread!! but you guys are the only ones who understand how frustrating this is. I can feel myself spiralling into my pit of depression, my milk supply is disappearing, nothing seems to be going right for us at the moment, and all i can do is cry non stop... once again, sorry to have such a long vent, thanks for reading, if you managed to get this far... im sure things will get better.

  10. #28
    belmarks Guest

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    Oh honey, you can come in here and vent and rant and rave as much as you like, we've all had our dealings with the insensitive women/men in NICU, and all the other trials and tribulations that you are going through, and besides that, we are here as a shoulder to lean/cry on whenever you need us.

    Believe me, if I lived near you, I would come over there tomorrow and mind the boys and give you my car so you could go up to the hospital and spend as much time there as you needed to. Can you ask MIL to come and sit with the boys while you go up there for a few hours? That might make you feel a little better? Is there anyone else that might be able to help you out for the day tomorrow?

  11. #29
    tiggy Guest

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    Jess,
    That's great news about Pat!

    Simone,
    sorry that things didn't work out. Are you in a big hospital? Some of the tertiary hospitals have starlight rooms where the siblings of babies in the NICU can go and spend the day, while Mum is with bubs.
    Have you got a social worker? She should be able to give you all the info on things like that. Hope there is something at the hospital that Annaleise is in...
    ETA: Have you tried fenugreek to boost supply?
    Thinking of you

  12. #30

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    I'll try the fenugreek, where do u get it from?? MIL has been great, she takes me in to the hospital a couple of times a week, while dh is at work, and Anneliese is at the Royal Womens in Melbourne, and they have a child care centre, but its for a maximum of like 2 hours. But my FIL worked for the week (and did nights, he's a snr sargent for vic police and had to co-ordinate the police for Federation Square, so he's either working or asleep, and i can understand that when hegets a couple of days off they want to spend some time together!!) They said they might be able to lend me their second car tomorrow, so i can at least get out of the house, and im going to get DH to look after the kids so i can go in and spend all night, until the wee hours of morning with her. Breastfeed for a couple of feeds, loads of cuddles... cross my fingers this plan works out!!

  13. #31

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    Oh Simone....I hope that your plan works!
    I know that at the RWH (that's where Kyla was) they allocate you a case manager - perhaps you should have a talk to her about what's going on for you. The stress and depression can't be helping with your supply. You can get the fenugreek from any chemist.

  14. #32

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    Simone Fenugreek only helped my milk by an extra 50mls so i am on motillium which gives me an extra 200mls as i have been expressing for 14 weeks.. If the Fenugreek don't help enough there are other alternatives..

  15. #33
    tiggy Guest

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    Hi Racca!
    How is little Ronan going?
    Hope you are both doing well.

  16. #34

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    Hi Tiff, how are you sweety?

    Well Ronan is due to come home this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been at the hospital for 8/12hrs per day for the past 3 weeks and his breastfeeding is finally coming along.. We are demand feeding him during the day and bottlefeeds at night whilst i am not there as he has NO more tubes! He now weighs 4150 grams and going great guns.. His breathing has been perfect for the past 3 weeks (no desats) and will come home with NO oxygen..

    He is breastfeeding 3 times a day and coping REALLY well and putting on weight.. He is only still there because he has a Hernia operation tomorrow and he needs a few days to recover, but it's all getting exciting.. He has been in hospital for 15wks this week so whilst it's been a long road we are finally almost to the end of that chapter in his/our lives.. We were able to take him out in the stroller today for a walk around the hospital and even though he slept the whole day, we certainly enjoyed some time away from the Nursery..

  17. #35
    tiggy Guest

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    That is SUCH good news!
    I am so happy for you and DH and for little Ronan. Way to go on the weight! They really do take off, don't they?!?!?!
    Yay that he is breastfeeding really well and that you got to take him out in the stroller. That must have been so wonderful!
    I was so looking forward to going home with Ivy and Noah but when it came to d -day, I was shaking in my boots! It's such an overwhelming, exciting time!
    I just looked at your wonderful site.
    He looks just gorgeous!
    You must be so proud of your little guy (and proud of yourself too, I hope).
    I think of you and Ronan often.
    Can't wait to hear that he is home.
    Good luck for the op tomorrow!

  18. #36

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    Rac - Goodluck to little Ronan for his Op tomorrow. Hope all goes well!
    How exciting that he is coming home soon - he is such a little trooper and you must be so proud at how well he is doing.
    That's great that you got to take him out in the stroller - it is so good being able to get away from the nursury for a while...it makes it feel like he is your baby and your baby only (that's how I felt anyway).
    As Tiff said, it's such an exciting time when they finally get to come home...and a little scary. I found it wierd not having the nurses to ask questions every 2 seconds - I found that I became quite reliant on them!
    That's fantastic with his breastfeeding Rac - I'm just so glad that things are looking good for you all.

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