Michelle,

I am so so sorry for your loss. I had to reply, as I have experienced this, except in the role of your 16 month old. My father was killed in a car accident when he was 36. My mother was left with 4 kids, all alone. My eldest sister was 14, brother 12, sister 3 and I was only 21 months old. I don't remember a lot about the years to follow, except for asking where my daddy went, and why he couldn't come back.

I don't really have any advice, as I was the child in that situation, but i do want to offer you some hope. Even though my dad is gone, he has been a great inspiration in my life. He symbolizes everything i want to be. Strong, hardworking, honest, loyal, successful. I was not deprived of love, or of material things as a result of his death. I did feel his absence, but at the same time, being so young it was easier for me than the others. Your children will be alright. I can promise you that. You seem like a very strong woman, even in the face of such a terrible tragedy. I know solo parenting isn't the path you chose for yourself, but so many of us were raised by single mothers (or fathers). It really isn't as uncommon as you think.

I grew up knowing the value of a person's life, right from the beginning. I understood that the things and people we love can be taken away in an instant.

Like I said, I can't offer any advice, all I can do is offer you my support, as the child of a father who died too young and left us in the same bewilderment you're facing now. Life is cruel, and I am so so sorry you have to face parenthood without your wonderful husband. May you forever see your beautiful husband in the eyes of your children, and may they bring you the strength and courage you need to carry on. He will live on in their hearts, and yours.



xoxo