Have you told him that until he changes there's going to be less 'drop in' time? I know you say you've been waiting for him to make a move to see the counsellor, etc, but that's a BIG step, even if he recognises there's a problem. There's no harm with a little pushing from your end. Highlight the benefits of him going along and how things are so much better when he does behave the way you would like him to. Stay away from the negative stuff.

My DP does not have the kind of brain mis-wiring that you speak of and still getting him to see a counsellor for the emotional things that are wrong in his mind is quite confronting. In fact, he's much happier if we go along together to see a counsellor, even if it then means he has individual sessions here and there. I know I've had to 'lead the horse to water', so to speak, but it is him who still makes the changes and we all benefit from that (hallelujah!).

Super-confident mummy, even with demented daddy around, will still bring out the best in your kids - don't doubt yourself because he has the ability to turn your world upside down!