Thanks so much for your speedy replies

At one stage he did say that I could find out, then as I got talking to people about it he changed his mind. We talked about it again on the weekend (well we fought about it) he said again that I could find out but he'd be really upset and I couldn't tell anyone, to which I said I'd tell my besty and my mum then he lost it with me. That night he got crazy drunk and had D&M with his besty telling him how much I hurt him blah blah blah and they both made me feel like absolute rubbish! Then he kept going on about how much I hurt him after that... Why do I have to feel guilty?! Grrrr