with the gender, i think he's being a childish prat going and sooking to his friend and then playing guilt games. next time you see your care provider, ask if it is written on the scan results (DD's was!) and find out anyway. he shouldn't stop you knowing something

with the pain killers - sorry, i'd be telling him he wasn't welcome in the labour ward if he can't respoct your wishes with regards to how your labour progresses. he has never, and will never, go through labour - and as much as he can encourage you to do what you initially want with respect to your birth plan, he cannot deny you pain meds - and ANY medico that took his word for it isn't worth their salt. they should be sending him out and talking to you between contractions to confirm YOUR wishes. YOUR body, YOU birth - to hell with his opinion. talk to your middy or doc NOW about this - they need to have it noted on your file that he is to make NO decisions regarding your care - and if you're asking for meds and he is trying to talk you out of it, he should be asked to leave the room to allow you to decide

hugs hun

BG