Thanks so much everyone, for the support, words of advice. It helps knowing other husbands also deal with this things differently to their partners!

DH and I are both staying at my mum's this weekend...and to be honest, he's been more there for me this time. I think, as some of you have suggested, I have actually told him more what I need this time, which has certainly helped...and he's good now and listening and nodding and then giving me a hug ...without always trying to find a 'solution'...when there really isn't one. Plus my mum is a fantastic support.

BW- my DH said the same thing when I had the ectopic (and also one in my uterus)...it never felt quite real to him, because that time we didn't ever see a heartbeat at an early scan....we only had a scan once I realised there were problems...this time though, it has felt much more real to him, after two scans seeing that flickering heartbeat.

Devon- same with my DH....often in later discussions I realise how much he has cared been upset...but he just doesnt express it at the time. He has even expressed more grief, today than yesterday (possibly because I was an absolute mess all day yesterday).

We've also decided we might take a week off in November and just chill out by the beach or something.

I think one of the hardest things for me is feeling not only sorrow and loss, but anger and resentment at other women who have children easily, suffer no miscarriages/ectopic and certainly don't go through IVF etc. Our year has bounced from one of those things to the other and back again. I know being bitter and angry isn't healthy and I have to let it go...I guess with a bit more time I will find a calmer acceptance and just get on with it again. I seem to recall I went through this when I lost the babies and my natural fertility in one sudden swoop in March....and I did move forward again and the anger and resentment did fade as time went on...with only flare ups every now and then... I just also hope there is nothing wrong with me that has caused this.

On a more physical note, I have started brownish light bleeding today. I hope I do miscarry naturally in coming days and don't have to go through another curette. I'll be glad when my pregnancy symptoms (sore boobs etc) dissapear...they are a constant reminder of those loss. And I hate the feeling of carrying around something which has now died.

Sorry for this very long post! This is just a good outlet for me, and you are all so understanding.
Emma.