Hi Jo

My path was not the same as yours but I just want to say that feeling less than ecstatic is in no way a reflection of what mother you will turn out to be. I had a minor freak-out before my little one was born (even though she was planned) and I am sooooo glad that I read somewhere that not everyone falls in love with their baby the moment he or she arrives. I was fascinated with my newborn but didn't feel that overwhelming love that you often read about and I didn't stress about it. She's now four months old and I love her more each day. Which is lots!

I think given what you've been through, what you're feeling is completely understandable AND what you're planning in terms of talking to DH and buying a few maternity clothes is sensible.

Just take things slowly, don't be too hard on yourself and don't worry if by the end of your pregnancy that you haven't got a fully stocked nursery. I wasn't able to do that for my daughter because I had my step-daughter living in her room until 4 days before she was born. Makes no difference - they don't care where they sleep and to be honest, I'm kind of glad that I'll be doing it now. Feels like I'm doing it for her and her personality rather than some unknown baby.

So just do things at your own pace and don't worry if you never get mega-excited. Things will happen in their own time.