Oh Jo big big to you, you are so not alone.

I completely agree with everyone here, when trying to get pregnant is so so hard, when it finally happens, I think we look for the trap doors. Im still waiting for the ecstatic gushing feelings to come but Im not sure they will......dh and I are both kind of flat about it.

This is how my brain is understanding this process, its like queying for a ride at dreamworld, you eventually get to the gates thinking you are about to get on this amazing ride and you sit in the car and then you get told you have to wait 8 months, to go down.

All that build up (and ltttc is a build up) just to then sit and wait.....its crazy you have a 12 week hurdle, then a 20week abnormality scan to get through and then still the anxiety of not knowing if it is all going to be alright in the end....I think I may become violent towards the next person who tells me this is the most wonderful time of my life.

Sorry Im not sure this helps (it has turned into more of a cathatric release for me), please just know your not alone and you should give yourself time to grieve for your angel. I grieved after every failed month of conceiving (which dh didnt understand) so I am damn sure, you deserve to give yourself some time.

Big love Lis xx