Why am I not happy?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

A good friend of mine has been TTC for about the last 18 months, she never had trouble getting pregnant, it was keeping the baby that was the problem. Now she's 31 weeks, and it was only a couple of weeks ago that she started doing anything, ie buying clothes. She refused to let herself get attached to her baby becaus eshe was convinced she was gonna lose it.

We encouraged her and her DH to spend a few minutes talking to bubs before they went to bed and as soon as they woke up every day. She said it was hard at first - she didn't know what to say, but now she talks to him all the time.

Maybe thats something you could try?? I hope it works for you Hugs!

[Lenny]

Oh wow, I don't know what to say.

Thank you all so much.

I have admired and respected a lot of you for so long, and to be getting such amazing support and advice and wisdom is such a huge privilege.

I can honestly say that things are changing for me - and that's all because I feel OK about my feelings. I don't like them...but they are there, and beating myself up for having them was only making the whole thing worse.

Oh, and i bought some preggy shorts and tops - they aren't so bad...and they are a whole lot more comfy than my old clothes

It was hard to write the first post - but by doing it a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders - and i am eternally grateful to you guys for not judging me and for helping me to make sense of this. Thank you so much!

[worrywart]

Just wanted to say Thanks Jo, for starting this thread. And to everyone for these replies.
I know it's from years ago, but it's so helpful to read about these kinds of experiences, because I think that there is a taboo about expressing anything negative once you've been lucky enough to become pregnant.
I am only just pregnant, and have had a few serious worries so far (spotting, a potential partial mole, which was ruled out last Thursday, though there's still some odd area of blood vessels in the uterus). I am 9 weeks today. I have a lot of fear and anxiety, and I feel like my family especially doesn't really "get" this. Not properly.
Then, this weekend, just two days after we got our positive scan, we found out my sister-in-law AND my husband's sister-in-law are both pregnant. My brother's wife is due about a week before me. He's younger, has been with his wife for a couple of years and married for about 6 months, and trying for let's say ... um, that's right, the magic number, one time. This is the third couple I know .. oh no, hang on, the fourth ... who's got pregnant on first try. My mum and my whole family knew about my brother (they didn't hesitate to announce it) and everyone was waiting for me to get the all clear in relation to the mole before telling me.
My brother is pretty sensitive too.
It's not like anyone's done anything "wrong" by me. I'm just so angry, and so upset with myself for being angry. Plus I'm worried that if I feel anything "bad" (like envy or spite) that it will endanger the pregnancy.
Also, and this is weird, somehow I feel like the fact that these two women in my family are pregnant will make it more likely for me to lose my pregnancy. I know that sounds fairly crazy, but I think it's all that statistical thinking from IVF, you know.
And I have the plain old fashioned childish envy, when you just think "why do you have to steal the attention". My brother has always been ... favoured, really (not just over me, but over my other siblings - he's the golden child, the natural talent, the "charismatic" one who gets things effortlessly without any work, but with loads of charm). Anyway, I probably need therapy, I reckon. I am getting some, but it's all this relaxation stuff right now.
Anyway .... I'm so lucky and I'm still so glad ...
Just wanted to say Thanks to people for being honest. It really helps.
Best wishes,
WW