Morgan,
know its been a while since you posted but I've only just read this and wanted to say that it appears you feel exactly as I have felt only about a reverse situation. I desparately wanted a boy for my first and in about a week I'll be having a girl. Unfortunately since 20 weeks my pregnancy has been marred by disappointment in knowing I'll be having a girl. I've tried desparately to get to a better head space and I think I am there now. What has helped me is to stop looking for the answers outside of myself and look inwards. I'm not allowing any more negative talk about what having a girl will mean and only allow myself to focus on the positives. Like you I was caught completely by surprise by the depth of my feelings - I knew I wanted a boy, but I never knew how much I didn't want a girl! And that's the key for me, I have a lot of unjustified beliefs about how much work a girl will be and that it won't be good. I have a distant mother who finds it hard to show love to me and I'm sure this is part of the problem - I don't want to experience this kind of relationship again. Of course that is up to me to make sure this doesn't happen.

Again, like you I struggled to conceive on IVF. Of course I must of known there was a chance in having a girl and I honestly wasn't worried about it back then. I do believe that once I have the baby things will be better - I just have to be positive and confident in my ability and what lies ahead.

Feel free to email me at girly807@hotmail.com or PM me. I have tried to PM you but i have been unable.

Best of luck and try not to be so hard on yourself.


Lilly