Hello Banx,
I am sorry if I'm not much help, from the sounds of it my circumstances may be different to yours so my advice may not help. But here goes anyway.. I for one was kind of relieved when my XP finally listened to me that I wanted to break up for good.
I don't know that I deal the best with having my son to my XP, I mostly wish that we never had to see him again, but I know he will have to be a part of our lives in some way. I try to keep him & his family updated, but have issues with talking to them and get so busy with full time study & looking after Logan I take a while to write emails to the ones that do have internet access. The break up didn't really hurt for me because I had wanted it to happen months before it actually did. The break up still seems to hurt for him, but I think he is beginning to come to terms with it, after almost 2 years.

I got through by just focusing on how much better things would be. I kind of felt like a single parent while I was with him for that short time after Logan was born. He never helped much and mostly yelled at Logan when he cried and called me lazy because I "got to stay at home all day and do nothing". Also I am living with my mother for now, so that helped a lot although I insisted on doing all of the looking after Logan myself (except for when I needed a break every couple of months), it was good to have someone understanding to talk to when I needed it. I also had a close friend who was willing to listen to me vent or take me out for a couple of hours if I needed it while Mum looked after Logan. I also had a social worker visit my house so I could talk to them about any issues I had that I couldn't talk about with anyone else. I also cope by knowing that a happy parent = a happy child and while I am prone to bouts of depression at times, I am a lot happier being single and looking after Logan. As lame as it must sound, he is my life. I am thankful that I am in the best state of mind possible to be able to enjoy every minute I have with him, rather than fighting with someone and being too depressed to enjoy anything.