Not coping after losing Max

[~mamaspice~]

Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. Just know that it is perfectly normal to have good and bad days so please do not beat yourself up about having had such an emotional day today. You and your husband will deal with this in different ways.

BB is certainly a good place for you to be right now. There are plenty of people who are here for you.
One of my good friends had her twins early at 25 weeks and one passed away 6 weeks later from kidney failure. She has a litle spot in her garden with a seat and flowers where she goes whenever she needs to think about/talk to Beau.
You too will find your own way of honouring your beautiful boy Max.

Big to you, and take care.

Tamara

[all girls]

I am so sorry for your loss. I really don't know what else to say but there are some fantastic people on this site that can tell you how they managed their pain just take each day at a time.

Don't think that you did anything wrong it isn't your fault sweetheart. I can't begin to imagine what you have been through.

Rest in peace little Max xoxo

[Je$$_84]

Oh Hun i have tears streaming down my face... I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish i could just give you a big hug... I cant begin to imagine how you must be feeling. To hold your baby until he passed must have been the most heart breaking thing in the world.

I dont know what to say but just know he's in a better place without suffering now. Look into the sky and find the brightest star... I believe its our loved ones looking down on us. It may help to talk to him up there and let out your emotions.

You could get a white ballon (helium filled) Go somewhere special and you and some close friends and family could say a few things and you could release the balloon Like a release of the emotions.

Nothing will ever take away your pain and i really wish there was something that could. I think talking about your feelings is a great step... There is a thread about loss here where you may find some confort from others who have been through similar things.

Again so sorry for you loss hun.. RIP little Max...

[jmmum]

Your husband is most likely not frustrated with you and your tears. He probably feels this is not something that he can fix. He probably wants you to feel ok but knows you can't at the moment and most likely niether can he. Just be gentle and loving to each other share your sadness, tears and heart ache.

[diannescruffy]

Hi hun,
So very sorry for the loss of your precious Max. This is such an emotional time for you and your husband. Let yourself grieve, if that means crying, screaming any way you know how. The pain doesn't go away buy you somehow learn how to deal with that pain. Hold your little boy close to your heart. My heart goes out to you.

Regards,
Dianne

[prama]

sweatheart, i have tears streaming down my face.
my biggest hugs for you... i'm so sorry for your loss.
Little max knew what it was like be held by his loving mummy, and he had those precious moments with you.

your hubby, probably isnt tired of your tears, as jmmum said he's probably wants to make you hurt less but he can't.. and he's hurting too.

Rest in Peace, little Max
xoxoxoxxo

[kitten76]

Hi Batty
I am so sorry for your loss.I lost our precious baby girl Madison at 19+2 weeks and I totally understand the feelings of helplessness,hopelessness and guilt.Madison died in utero after my water broke and basically the DRs waited for her to pass away before I was induced.That was 3 years ago.There is NEVER a day that I dont look at her tiny footprints and imagine what if? I still have her ashes as Im not ready to let her go.Honestly I dont think I ever will be ready.The first year was very hard even though I got pregnant 7 months later .I still mourned for my lost little girl.The birth of our DD2 was very therapeutic and I found some of the faith I had lost . You need to do what ever makes you feel better.If that means crying,screaming,having a memorial then do it and NEVER EVER let anyone tell you that you should be "over it".It may not seem like it now but It will get easier as time goes by and there will always be the beautiful memories of the moments that only you and Max shared when he was with you.And there will be days when you will think what if? those days are when you will need a strong support system around you and people who understand without questioning.Finding out what you need to help you with your grief is a personal journey and I pray that you will find peace soon.

[Lisa]

This is a poem that I printed out and sent to the people that couldn't understand that I couldn't just pick up the pieces and get on with things after losing Noah. I hope in some way it helps you too.

Please Be Gentle
By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don't turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It's how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?

__________________________________________________ ___
DS1-14 DD-11 DS2-1
Noah Thomas, born an angel (20w5d) 21 Feb 2006
Little Wing (8w4d) Oct 2007