Hi ladies,
Thank you for the quick replies. You are all so wonderful and brave, I really don't know how you've done it. I find myself crying now not only for my baby but all of the little lost babies. Life is so fragile.

I have a pretty good support network but all of my friends and family members have small children or new babies and I'm not ready to be around them yet. As much as I love my 8 month old niece, I haven't seen my brother or his wife since before we lost Max because I don't think I can see their baby. It seems that no matter where I look, there's always another baby or pregnant woman and it hurts so much that I'm not one of them. I went back to work on Thursday which was a good diversion (not that I did much besides shuffle paper) but unfortunately I have to work closely with a lady who is due two weeks before my EDD. And now this morning, my husband is making some noise about visiting his brother and his wife, who is 35wks. I can't get a break.

I think you're right about my husband, he does just want to make me feel better and I know that he is hurting too. We talked a little last night and he said as much. Unfortunately no amount of hugs can fill the void. While my husband has lost his son, I feel I've lost him twice -- I too lost the dream of having a baby as well as losing him from my belly.

I'm wondering if some of the grief I've felt this weekend is due to the baby blues. The pregnancy books have been pretty useless to me as they just don't properly cover this type of outcome. I don't know what I can do to counter it, I certainly don't want sedatives or antidepressants and I'm not willing to go on the pill.