batty - could you talk to your gp? maybe they could help suggest some professional support group for you and your husband?
I know I should go back to the GP for post-birth care but I am so angry and disappointed in the way they treated me that I am liable to trash his office if I do go back! To cut a long story short, the radiologist told me I didn't have "enough fluid around the baby", he phoned my doctor then told me to go straight in to see him. When I arrived to the doctor's surgery a mere ten minutes later, my doctor had left for the day and I had to see another doctor there. I had to open the report and read it myself to know what was really going on, and she wouldn't explain anything to me (I basically learned everything I now know about anhydramnios and renal agenesis by searching the net at home that night). She handed me a referral for a termination and told me to go to the emergency dept at RPA even though that wasn't the hospital I'd been going to for my antenatal care. I called my doctor a couple of days later to give him an update but he wouldn't take my call and didn't return my call. Needless to say, I've lost faith in that practice which is a shame as I have been going there for almost 15 years.

My employer has an employee assistance program which provides free counselling to staff. I've already been in contact with them and just need to call to make an appointment some time next week when I'm back full time.

I lost a little boy to kidney abnormalities too - we discovered at our morphology scan that he only had one kidney and it was a build up of cysts and would never function properly- we had tests done and were told the same as you- just bad luck.
I had never considered that we might lose a baby to a birth defect, and I am shocked that birth defects are so common. Our baby had bilateral renal agensis - the kidneys and bladder just never developed. Apparently it's a 1 in 4000 thing, but I found some stats on the Victorian govt site that gave the stat as 1 in 1500. I'm terrified it will happen again and am almost hoping that when the results come back, they will tell me it was something I did - at least then I will be able to control it in the future and not leave it up to fate.

As for seeing other people and their babies- DO NOT rush yourself to do this- you will know if and when you can handle it...
You're right and I took your advice. I told DH that I wasn't ready to see the SIL and he called his brother to cancel. He said later that neither of them had even thought that I might not be up to seeing his pregnant wife. So, good call and thanks

So, rather than sit here and mope, I'm going to move some furniture around. It's all about diversions and keeping busy I guess.

Just one more thing though, does anyone here remember getting the baby blues after a mid-term loss? DH is a little doubtful about it.