Hello ladies,

I usually just lurk around here and read your posts and keep my fingers crossed for those BFPs, but today was such a bad day that I need to just talk to somebody and I you are the only ones that will understand.
I went to see my doctor today to have some tests run for a possible luteal phase defect. I waited an hour, which did not even annoy me, I had to reschedule at the last minute so I was just grateful that my doctor could take me at the last moment. But as I was sitting there, there were all those pregnant women around me, all talking about their due dates and how their pregnancies are progressing. And all they have to read in the waiting room are those magazines about pregnancy. And then I had something called endomentrial biopsy done I think, and this was just so painful, nobody prepared me for this.
To make it worse, my husband is away on business, so I am here alone, he will not be back until Friday. Somebody on this forum, sorry, I do not remember who, said that they are grateful for the child they already have, because it would be so hard to go through this if this was #1. Well, it is #1 for me, and I am 40, and right now I just want to give up, because I feel like TTC is taking over my life. I am becoming obsessive, I constanly count days to O, days to AF, I am sure you can relate to this, and then I have this feeling like this all may be in vain, it will never happen to me and that 40-year old women have no business having babies and then I feel guilty for not trying it before.
Sorry for rambling, but I actualy feel worse today than right after my mc, and I have nobody to talk to, and even if my husband was here, I do not think he would quite understand.