TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth 2010

[Chez67]

Hi ladies

Sorry it has been ages since I have posted. I have been thinking of you all and wondering what everyone has been up to.

Last weekend I had my ILs staying, so that was pretty busy but nice as well. And work continues to be very busy to the point that I am so tired when I get home that I have only just enough energy to shower and eat dinner. I am so luck that DH cooks!

Anyway, there has been so much to catch up on I will try for some persies but please forgive me if I miss you.

Gigi1 - I have been thinking of you and DD a lot lately. I really hope Ryan has found her too. I am sure they would be best of friends. I will be thinking of you this week. I hope you and DH can find some time to be together for the 1st anniversary

Dory - as always, kind and compassionate and understanding. Thank you for being that voice of hope in our thread.

Teni and Charlie - another milestone has passed for you both with your appointments. We found the lead up to the appointment with the Ob very stressful and were quite let down afterwards - I guess we wanted more answers other than it shouldn't happen again next time. I hope you are both doing ok.

Blessed - sorry to hear you and DP are having troubles but great news that you have found a counsellor who is helping. I think it shows how much your DP cares about you and your relationship to attend counselling - it's something a lot of men just won't do.

Angelic - I have been thinking of you recently. I hope you had time to visit Annabelle's grave with some fresh flowers. It is hard when the churn of daily life overtakes the important moments.

Crumpet - I know what you mean about being scared that the baby you lost might be the only baby you have. I spent a long time thinking and feeling that. It is hard to be positive sometimes but I am trying positive self talk and visualisation to try get myself out that negative space. I hope you get a BFP soon and CharlieB is right with her prediction!

Hi to Aries, samcougar, Beata and everybody else.

AFM, I ovulated last Sunday which was a little later than usual but still good. So I'm almost halfway through my 2WW. I don't rate my chances - I have been so stressed although I did go for a massage last week which was heavenly! I had AP on Wednesday morning which should have left me very relaxed instead I went to work with a killer headache and ended up having to deal with a stressful situation which made things even worse. By Thursday the headache was a bit better but I felt like a cold was coming on - I finished a box of tissues with my runny nose and watery eyes! So I have taken today off work - I probably could have gone in but I was so tired I slept for 12 hours so I am kind of glad I didn't. I spent the day just chilling out with the fur babies and watched The Pacific while they slept on my lap. Winter has arrived this last week so they love a warm lap to curl up on.

Anyway, DH should be home soon so I am going to go and shower. I hope everyone has a great weekend. to all.

[cmeglles]

Just want to say a little hello to everyone before I leave on vacation. Tomorrow Yay! (If I can survive my MIL on this trip I will be thrilled. We already got into it today a little.)

Tenibear and Charlie B- I second Chez. Our follow up apt didn't tell me anything, and it was SO stressful for me. I am with you. It can be so frustrating to not have any answers. Sending you both a big hug.

Blessed- So sorry to hear that the fighting has picked back up. I am glad you guys found a great counselor and really hope that things turn out for the better and soon. I am also sorry AF arrived. Booo! Don't worry about posting things here....I think this is a wonderful and very supportive group, and I think that the forum is really hard to find and navigate sometimes---so I really don't think anyone will know. I really care about you and how you are doing. I am sure I don't know how hard things are for you right now, but I just want to say that we are rooting for you, and you will get through this!

crumpet- Happy early birthday! I won't have access to wish it to you later.I just want to say that I hear you and how you are feeling. I am often there myself. You are not alone, and there really is hope and lots to look forward to. I think that our losses make us realize how important children our to us and how much we sincerely want children to be a part of our lives. There is a quote that someone sent to me on an email and I often look to it for inspiration, when I am feeling really low. "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight" ~Kahlil Gibran

Angelic Dragon- Hope things turn around a little bit.

Chez- nice to see you! Wishing you the best! I am fro a BFP for you when I get back. Remember to take care of yourself.....sounds like you are uber-busy (I am just a s guilty) and feel better soon!

Gigi1- I love your pregnancy photo hobby. I think it is such a beautiful way to get something positive out of missing having pictures of yourself. I will be thinking of you and DD. And sending you a hug from the boat. Feel free to take a pause on your life and take a day to step out for yourself. You have so much going on in your life that can make things really hard at the moment. See if you can take some time to smile and do something you enjoy just for you, and maybe things will seem a little less overwhelming.

Dory- I also want to put in a big thank you for being so positive and wonderful on our thread. I think we all really treasure you. Hope your rest and baby growing is going well!

I will check back in when I return (in a week). Hopefully some relaxation at the beach...(yup just a little trip for me but I am excited) will be just the ingredient we need to conceive a little one. Oh please oh please oh please.

Sending you love and baby dust!

[crumpet]

crumpet - I'm sorry you are feeling miserable about your b'day - I know all the milestones are hard when you have already imagined them all fat and preggers. I'm sure that you will not be pregnant next birthday either - cause you will already have a beautiful healthy bub in your arms!!

So I survived the follow up and the post mortem results. Basically it seems we were just really unlucky and hopefully there shouldn't be any significant risk for next bub. We have the green light to conceive next cycle (and got told we were naughty for not preventing this cycle, oh well!)

I feel quite relieved that it is all over and we can at least look forward, not that we will ever forget our special little first born.

thanks hun, i hope ur right!!!!
at the wedding yesterday i was sitting there going " i was meant to be 34 weeks preg and fat here and here i am just a normal person"

hun im glad the results wernt that bad, as in nothing dramatic, and yay for being allowed to get to it next month

I'm having a very angry day - just frustrated at the whole situation. Sorry to anyone who has me on facebook and felt confronted by the language I used in my status update
Re: my appointment, I've put it in my blog. Basically, all was normal (except, you know, the fact that he was dead) except one test came back with a borderline abnormality. They did another blood test, and if the results come back the same, that "might" have been the cause.

big hugs hun....... hope ur doing ok!

Crumpet - I know what you mean about being scared that the baby you lost might be the only baby you have. I spent a long time thinking and feeling that. It is hard to be positive sometimes but I am trying positive self talk and visualisation to try get myself out that negative space. I hope you get a BFP soon and CharlieB is right with her prediction!

thanks hun......good luck in the TWW!!!!!

crumpet- Happy early birthday! I won't have access to wish it to you later.I just want to say that I hear you and how you are feeling. I am often there myself. You are not alone, and there really is hope and lots to look forward to. I think that our losses make us realize how important children our to us and how much we sincerely want children to be a part of our lives. There is a quote that someone sent to me on an email and I often look to it for inspiration, when I am feeling really low. "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight" ~Kahlil Gibran

thanks hun!!!!

i have my appt at the hospital at 11am on wednesday so hopefully something will happen there

[Gigi1]

Cmegels
Thanks for the temporary use of the universal remote...so I can pause life for a bit. Have a wonderful time away and bring us home a BFP please.

Chez
Thanks for your thoughts hun. It has been a tough week and we are getting there. We might get away for a night up to Mt Tamborine or something. We had our honeymoon up there many years ago and seeing as we plain forgot our anniversary this year....thought we might go up there for a family getaway. Hope the massage and Ap were what you needed despite the headache that followed. It might have been a long time coming and you body didn't know what to do! Good on you for staying home to get that sleep. Take care hun and hope life with Dh is going well too.

Dory,
Certainly no pressure. i am not a professional anyway hun and can't promise what they will turn out like...the offer is there. How are you feeling since the stitch? Do you feel you bubbas closer now more than ever with a new baby growing? Do you feel them all close in spirit? I know they are always with you but YKWIM.

Charlie B
Hmmm, the term 'unlucky' doesn't seem to cut it does it. You did well hun to get through that day. Good luck on your 2ww and hope it brings the surprise you deserve. Thanks for your lovely words sweet, you are so thoughtful.

Crumpet
'All stations' Love it! You made me chuckle- sounds good to me. Bummer about the job hun. It is amazing isn't how you rnew world can crumble at the drop of a hat. Don't be hard on yourself though sweet and expect you to be all fine by now. I think the counsellor sounds like a good idea but it is still so early to expect too much. I met a lady today who lost her son 8 years ago and she still has her new normal IYKWIM. It was of huge comfort for me to hear that from her. She was lovely and so very normal and made me feel ok for where I am at...took a lot of pressure off me. Gus would be mega proud of you hun. Happy Birthday for next week. I will say it now as I think I will be MIA for a bit of 'me' time. Have a wonderful day and although you are not pregas, you are still a mummy, don;t ever forget that. I knwo not how you would have dreamed, but true all the same.

Blessed
Thinking of you as you guys work through this. I am sorry it is so stressful for you both hun. I am thrilled you found a good counsellor first time round...that is a huge benefit. Hope you find some things to work on together. Like...i think it was dory said, the fact that Dh is there and going...is a great sign for you both. Thinking of you.

Angelicdragon
Hope your world stops spinning for a moment so you can have a moment soon hun. xoxo

AFM
I think I will force myself to be MIA for a week or so...I need the time to stop and think through a few things. I have too much going on right now and not enough time for me, DD and DH.
Thinking we might go away for a night or two.
Love, thanks and thoughts are with you all. xoxoxoox

[dory]

Gigi - sweetie, even if you are MIA for a while, you will be never far from my thoughts and my heart. Take care of yourself.

Thinking of you for tomorrow, especially. ( if my calculations are right). Beautiful baby girl, never be far from your Mum, she needs you now more than ever.

I'll be back later to catch up properly but thanks for the nice words.... so sweet. You should all wiat til you meet me, I am a wench!

[Gigi1]

Thanks sweetie.
DD's date is 21st of April..Wednesday. Not that one day in particular is more special. But that was the day she was born.
Thank you Dory for your lovely thoughts, words and love. xoxoox