thread: TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth 2010

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    Perth
    44

    AFM: well its just not happening for me right now......
    the job i got as a nanny has fallen through and now im a wreck all over again....i was looking forward ot having something to do and having a distraction and well it not there now......
    am going to try to get into contact with the lady who looked after us after i delivered Gus to see if she can help me organise some councelling or soemthing but im a sobbing mess all over again..... its been 4 months and i keep thinking i should have my ***** together by now but clearly what im doing isnt working so i guess its time to get some help of some sort.
    I'm so sorry Crumpet.

    I understand how this would have thrown you off though. I had actually started to wind down in our business before we lost the bub, and had even hired a new member to replace myself in the roster. Which now leaves me with no baby and no real purpose at work. Its really tricky having to completely re-write the plan for the next year of my life (or more), when I was so excited about being a mum. So I think feeling lost after the nanny position fell through is completely understandable.

    I also have been been seeing a councellor after our loss, it has been SO helpful for me - I really recommend that you look into it.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    watsonia north victoria
    2,161

    I'm so sorry Crumpet.

    I understand how this would have thrown you off though. I had actually started to wind down in our business before we lost the bub, and had even hired a new member to replace myself in the roster. Which now leaves me with no baby and no real purpose at work. Its really tricky having to completely re-write the plan for the next year of my life (or more), when I was so excited about being a mum. So I think feeling lost after the nanny position fell through is completely understandable.

    I also have been been seeing a councellor after our loss, it has been SO helpful for me - I really recommend that you look into it.
    thanks hun.....

    ive emailed the lady who looked after us at the hospital to see where to go from here so hopefully soon ill be seeing someone....

    i think the having nothing to look forward to is the hardest.....
    itsmy birthday next week and i should have been fat and preg at my birthday but now i have nothing

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    1,874

    Crumpet - what's a girl to do? I wish I could just wave my magic wand ( I do have one though, but I think the magic smoke escaped) to ease your pain and give you back your self confidence.

    Who would think that 4 months can feel like eternity? But it does and doesn't. Honestly you are still so early on, give yourself time and don't be too hard on yourself.

    At the same time, counselling sounds like it might help. Sometimes in our grief we get stuck, and need someone else to help us realise what we are stuck on and give us some ideas about how to get unstuck. I hope the lady at the hossy comes through.

    I suppose the thing you need to hold close to your heart, is that you are a beautiful and strong woman, who has so much to offer all of those around you. I know it doesn't feel like that.

    You are worthy of love, an in fact have been given the gift and heartache of the most wonderous kind.

    I know at these times Gus seems so far away, but close your eyes, take a few moments, and reach out, he will be there, and he loves you. It doesn't take away the hurt, but sometimes just connecting like that really helps me. Maybe it might help you.

    Big hugs sweetie. I believe in you.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    watsonia north victoria
    2,161

    Crumpet - what's a girl to do? I wish I could just wave my magic wand ( I do have one though, but I think the magic smoke escaped) to ease your pain and give you back your self confidence.

    Who would think that 4 months can feel like eternity? But it does and doesn't. Honestly you are still so early on, give yourself time and don't be too hard on yourself.

    At the same time, counselling sounds like it might help. Sometimes in our grief we get stuck, and need someone else to help us realise what we are stuck on and give us some ideas about how to get unstuck. I hope the lady at the hossy comes through.

    I suppose the thing you need to hold close to your heart, is that you are a beautiful and strong woman, who has so much to offer all of those around you. I know it doesn't feel like that.

    You are worthy of love, an in fact have been given the gift and heartache of the most wonderous kind.

    I know at these times Gus seems so far away, but close your eyes, take a few moments, and reach out, he will be there, and he loves you. It doesn't take away the hurt, but sometimes just connecting like that really helps me. Maybe it might help you.

    Big hugs sweetie. I believe in you.
    thanks dory......

    ur a very sweet and insprirational person.....

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    1,874

    crumpet - big hugs

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Home with my Son :)
    2,611

    Hi Everyone.. I am really sorry, no personals, I have had a quick read through though and wanted to say Crumpet I completely agree with Dory, the wise woman she is
    Who would think that 4 months can feel like eternity? But it does and doesn't. Honestly you are still so early on, give yourself time and don't be too hard on yourself.
    .. big hugs to you and who ever else may need it including me .. AF arrived, but it's probably just as well, DP and I are at each others throats again.. I feel so guilty for still TTC when our relationship is in MAJOR trouble 1 postive, we saw a counsellor at Relationships Aus last night.. AWESOME AWESOME she was.. ATM we are still living together but seperated.. I can't believe I am writing this in a public forum, but I really feel like I know and can trust you all.. Well That's it from me, for now.. I'm cooking dinner and having a red wine..

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Collinsvale, Southern Tasmania
    760

    every time I get here and try to post the world collapses around me so I'll try one night around 3am and hope for quiet.
    hugs

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    1,874

    Blessed - oh sweetie - I am so glad that your counsellor was awesome. Makes such a difference to have somone you really connect with. Sorry to hear that you and DP are still doing it tough, I hope there is some light for you guys. Both you and DP must feel that way else you both wouldn't be TCC. Sweetie, in here is mostly annonymous, and even though its open to the public to read, most people are not going to know who you are, and sometimes it feels like there is just no where else that you can vent or express those the things that are on your mind. I have faith in you.

    Angelic - Hope the world stops collapsing around you long enough one day soon. Thinking of you.