Kerry, boy do you sound like me. Sometimes I write a post and think, am I two!!! I feel like I can't put into words what is in my mind and my heart but the best thing is that even if you ramble, say something that doesn't make sense or the words just arn't right, everyone in here will know exactly what you mean and will not judge you if your words fail you. I hope you keep visiting us, and I hope that we can keep giving you support from afar.

Lynn - Mel and I have discussed exactly what you mentioned about the babies skin. The doctors call it skin slip. Even though I made it to the hospital with 12 hours of Harrison becoming an angel, his was still fragile and tore in some places. I found that so difficult to deal with and have only every discussed how it made me feel with Mel and DH, so please, please do not feel like you are a bad mother for not realising Cooper had become an angel. I too thought I could still feel Harrison moving and even to this day I occasionally have to tell myself that it was not a kick I just felt.... We too had to decide who would hold Harrison, we chose only immediate family and three of my closest girlfriends that I had known since Primary school. I don't know if we made the right decision, did people only hold him because they felt obligated, were they scared of how he looked or how he felt, was holding Harrison only something DH and I should have had the honour of doing? It is amazing how your mind is your worst enemy and you second guess every decision you have made. But Lynn, you made the right decision for you at that time. I wanted photos of Harrison but when I was taking them I was worried that it would be disrespectful to him. I look at those photos all the time, his skin may be mottled, his lips a deep crimson read and his little hands gently cleanched, but he is our son and no matter what, his is the most amazingly beautiful person. Don't be concerned if you aren't ready to show his pictures, you may never want to share them but if you feel that you would like to, I would be honoured to see him.

I will be in Sydney on Tuesday 16, and DH has organised for the internet to be connected that day so as soon as we are organised I will get online and say howdy neighbour.

Mel: How you doing today babe? How is AF treating you? Has she left you alone yet? I understand you decision to not get the injection and I know that it is a very well considered decision. I also know that as you say you have made it to 29 without a problem so I think that you are doing the right thing for you. Fingers crossed for a BFP this month. I know it may coincide with Nicholas' 1st Birthday but I also know he would want his Mummy and Daddy to be happy no matter what.

Hey Clare: I was wondering how you were honey and glad you popped in. You are one of our first success stories so you just have to keep us up to date. Are you starting to feel a little more relaxed? Stupid question huh but I really hope that you are getting excited about that miracle growing in your belly.

Bailey99: I hope that you feel some comfort in the fact that you have an answer to why your little baby became an angel. I am sure it is bittersweet for you but it is reassuring that the doctors said it is highly unlikely to happen again. On the guilty feeling you have, I have spent so much time and energy feeling guilty. I just want you to know that there was nothing, nothing you could have done. Hope you are feeling OK sweety and that you stick around our thread.


Trish: I followed the link to Charlottes Garden and it looks like a wonderful, magical place. You must feel so comforted sitting on those benches and know that it is a speacial area for your little angel to rest her wings. I wish I was that talented and had a green thumb like you.


Oh well, we are going out for dinner again tonight because all our stuff is in a truck on the way to Sydney. We just went to see Pursuit of Happiness and it was such an inspiring movie. The main character Chris overcame so much in his pursuit of happiness. I warn you though, take alot of tissues, it is a tear jearker.

Spotting has eased off today but that seems to be how AF is these days.

Still testing like a maniac so I'll let you know if I see that magical second line.

Love
Spring