katie - IKWYM about functioning but not feeling better. I went back to work early becase I couldn't stand being at home any more. although i am now paying for that with back problems. anyway people thought i was back to normal. i think about anthony all the time. someone from BBonce told me that you never "get over" losing your child. you just learn how to cope with the pain better. good luck with AF.

Autie M - I am excited to start trying again but like you said really just want to have my son back inside of me. I keep going over how far pregnant I would be right now (26 wks 4 days) i think about what i would look like and it hurts so much. BUT I still want to try again.

Ellie - you are SOOOOO right. the should haves and what ifs can eat you alive. i love your words of inspiration.

Well I just got back from doctors. I got the all clear. SHe took lots and lots of blood from me today. checking for lupus, diabetes, clotting disorders, thyroid problems, etc. I will get the results in two weeks. SHe said I can start TTC at any time though. It is very scary and exciting at the same time. I would love to still have a baby in 2008. My DH wants to see a genetic counselor also. i will make an appt on monday.it is just so weird how it feels like I lost ANthony just yesterday one minute and a lifetime ago the next minute.

Barbara