Hi Jo. Thank you so much for that poem. It is exactly how I have been feeling. I identified with every single line. Especially the part about the stiff upper lip meaning that I am controlling my feelings, not that I am over it. It has also helped me in that I do tell people 'I'm fine' or 'I'm okay' because it just seems easier most of the time. And I am so sorry that your friend's mother walked off on you after she asked how you were. People can be so insensitive without even realising what they are doing, or what effects their actions and words can have on a grieving person.

I am so sorry that you are having a tough few days. Reading your post, I kept saying, yes I feel that, yes that is happening to me. It is like you and I are in sync with each other. I also enjoyed my job, but now have to make myself accept that fact that I am not leaving (and at times it makes me angry). I also am sleeping better, but still staying up too late and can hardly get out of bed. In fact this morning, I had to get up at 6:30 to drop the car off for a service, and then I got stuck in traffic on the way home and now I feel like I need a nap!

Life can be challenging at the best of times, and right now is no exception. I have my DHs 30th party coming up on the long weekend, and I know I will be getting a lot of 'sad eyes' and head tilts, and then also I have to be prepared for the people who say nothing and appear to have forgotten. I will be seeing many people for the first time so it should be a bit tough. Plus, one of our friends are due 2 weeks after what would have been our EDD. We have not seen them yet, and I am nervous about it. I think it will be a reminder of what I should be looking like etc. Thankfully my best friend is coming from Sydney, so I will get her to hold my hand throughout the night! I don't want it to be a downer for my husband.

Anyway Jo - I hope you have a better day today. As for answers from my Ob there really weren't any. In regards to the bleeding he said it is normal and there is nothing to do but wait. As long as you don't have a fever etc. He said if after 2-3 months I am still having bleeding and a messed up cycle, then he would suggest an ultrasound. Unfortunately I think it is a waiting game. Which makes it hard if you want to start TTCing again.