BW Good on you for getting out of the house for a bit yesterday. Thats a huge step. I'm pleased that you and your dh are on the same page now hun. Its very hard for them to show how they are really feeling. I hope you have a good time in Newcastle with your family and let your mum hug you. She won't know what to say and probably won't know how to react either but understand that she is doing her best to comfort you. My mum had no idea how to react when she saw me or what to say to me. I was hurt by this although now I understand she had no idea how I was feeling or what I needed at the time even though she had suffered losses of her own. Take care sweety and yes you will have some bad days and some good ones too. Embrace them no matter what hun