Dear Lilium, I really feel for you and the pain you must be going through and to feel like you have no support from your partner must be an ordeal. The reason I am responding is that I have 3 children from a previous marriage and my new husband and I have been trying to conceive. We actually were pregnant for 17 1/2 weeks but had to termninate due to Trisomy 21. But I wanted to tell you that men are very jealous creatures and there is something about children with another man that goes back to primitive times that it is hard for women to quite grasp. My husband, although we have been together for over 5 years cannot bear seeing me in my previous pregnancy photos or talking about the birth or anything like that, so this pressure you feel from your partner may just be that he cannot express the sadness and jealousy he feels. his heart is probably broken as I am sure yours is but the only way he may be able to express it comes out sounding like he is blaming you, even if he has said those words to you. I am sure in his heart of hearts he would not truly blame you, would he? If the answer is yes, then I would seriously reconsider your relationship. But surely it isn't at that point. I am sure you have experienced it for yourself but men are wonderful but they can really be little boys sometimes, more than you might think. I put his thoughts down to extreme jealousy. My husband has basically said something like 'how can that (insert many swear words) ex-husband father such beautiful kids when we can't have one of our own?' It is an ego thing and he is just lashing out at you. But please dont for one minute take it on board though. It just wasn't meant to be. Until you feel he can support you or you can support each other, continue to seek help from other women like me and the people in the messages above mine. I hope everything turns out wonderfully for you and remember - just imagine his negative feelings, thoughts and words are like a basketball and you are dodging it or hitting it back to him, but dont catch the ball. Much Love Mummacassdy