Lilium, your strength at being able to remain rational throughout this is amazing. That you have not thrown your hurt back at your partner, but are instead trying to understand what could make him react in such a way shows incredible strength.

I hope that your partner realises how lucky he is to have such a person in his life. I hope that he has realised that his pain is justified, but his way of dealing with it is not. Most of all, I hope that he is giving you love and support instead of adding to your grief.