I am so sorry for your loss.

I remember when I was in labour with one of my children, I spent some time in the coffee room comforting a woman who was watching her own daughter give birth to a child that had already left. She was truly shattered and grieving the loss of her grandson, and so heartbroken for her daughter, but every time it got too much for her, she would leave the room and I would be waiting there for her. She felt she needed to be strong for her daughter, and not let her daughter see her upset. Most of all, she didn't want her daughter to feel like she had to feel guilty for her mothers grief too.

I also know from personal experience, that at least at first my family had the immediate feeling that perhaps we shouldnt talk about it. Take this song out of the playlist, it would remind them of her. Don't bring it up, we don't want to worsen their grief. It takes the right person to tell them - that is the absolute worst thing they can do.

I was given the most valuable information ever by the lady during my own grief councelling when my niece became an Angel from SIDS. "Yes, losing their baby has hurt them beyond belief. But trying to protect them from their grief by not mentioning her - or pretending she didn't exist is going to hurt them even more."

Perhaps get some of the extended family grief assistance books from the SIDS website and give them to your family "Just in case they need help too". It might just help.