More hugs to you Peanutter
I have just read this entire thread as I too am coming to grips with "accepting" another c/s. My DH and I desperately want a vaginal birth after two difficult labours that ended in c/s but due to complications, I have no choice but to have another surgical birth and we have to say good bye to our vaginal birth dream.

What we have decided is to create the most positive and joyful birth we can.
One stark contrast between c/s #1 and c/s #2 was the skin on skin contact. I had none for 4 hours with DS#1 and had almost immediate skin on skin with DS#2. It was not hard to negotiate and the difference was amazing. I had my own midwife with me (as I was labouring at home previous to this for my attempted HBAC).
She helped me attach and made the experience feel alot more nurturing.
I agree with the previous post suggesting a doula or midwife be with you who understands your anxiety, helps advocate and helps you attach in theatre. It can make a massive difference.

Much love & blessings
xoxox