You're welcome bjrose - i wish i were closer, i'd come over for the afternoon and take the littlies so you and Jaz could have a shopping trip or cafe visit together NO problem!

You're right about having been through the worst bit - you are REALLY doing it, Jaz is just going to keep checking, like Lulu says. I would really recommend the note-passing or diary sharing - i'm pretty sure i saw it once on an episode of supernanny with a very high-needs 7 or 8 year old who had a lot of smaller siblings and was feeling it hard. She had a box for "thoughts" and she would write down something every day about how the day went, at bedtime mum would read the note and they would talk about it. THe first day she wrote something like "It's not fair the other ones get all the attention and you don't even LIKE me" but by the time supernanny was leaving they'd begun to have mum-and-daughter time and the last note said "I really liked ice-skating with mummy, it was my best day EVER. I really love you mummy" I'm tearing up at the memory! LOL. It's always surprising how much someone being able to express their feelings, EVEN when it changes nothing concrete, makes. I guess it makes sense though - i hate paying the bills, doing the dishes and ironing, and telling people makes no difference, but i always feel a bit better after a whinge

I would get DH to make an effort but don't worry about it overly - you can't fix the world and make it perfect for her, no matter how much you want to. Her dad is her dad and they will find their way together somehow. You're responsible for your relationship with her, but not her realtionship with him. He also needs to go through what you are - asking himself what he wants and how to go about getting it.

Keep talking hun, we're all here when YOU need to destress.

Bx