It sounds like their relationship was basically falling apart, no trust etc. before the split. Did they have money issues before he left? Wondering why she thought he would pay the mobile bill at all? My ex pays my child support but never my bills etc.

If he is really struggling could it be coz he wants to see us more and isnt allowed too ??????????
Maybe, but it's probably more the general feeling that something he likes to do (i.e. see you guys) is somehow an uncomfortable thing for mama and he doesn't get why. Kids are more affected by the emotions around such things than the things themselves, if that makes sense. Like if everyone was really really happy with him seeing you once a month or once a day it would be the happy he picked up on more than the time. The family court will probably appoint someone to assess him in that regard.

FWIW i really try to avoid DD having "sleepovers" at dada's house. I totally avoid that sort of language re: her time with him. But then much of her time with him is here, with me (his choice). It's not a holiday, sleepover, or any other exciting thing, it's just her other house and the rules etc. are (supposed to be) the same. There is a definite danger of kids seeing the parent they live with less as a hero because it's like a holiday from reality going there - i don't want DD to come down with a big crash when she realises Dada is not going to serve as an escape from reality/life.

Did her new partner coincide with the unwillingness to let you have longer with him? I am wondering if either she felt threatened by you (as a couple with her XH) or felt with her new DP she could cope without XH better? Maybe SHE wants to have her "happy families" family with your DP out of the picture? Also, how was your DP at being a dad when theywere still together? Is she maybe lashing out her pain at having no help at the start (i could still sit and sob and write pages and pages of THAT sort of thing, XP was so useless)?

I am not living with DP just yet, but when i do i won't NEED XP for childcare/a break, because DP will be here too. Obviously i won't stop XP seeing DD, but then we already do things as a group for her, as she loves both her daddies so much, but the NEED will be gone, if that makes sense. Ditto (even more so) when i have another kid - once i already have a baby i'm not getting a break from, not getting a break from the toddler either won't make that much difference, whereas at the moment i'm 100% on my own with it and i get desperate for a break.

I see what you mean if your DD's dad was never around, but can you IMAGINE letting him have the time you're asking for when she was 3? That's how i'd measure it if i were you. Don't ask for what you wouldn't be comfortable with and you'll be right.

Best of luck hun, this is really frustrating for you all. Keep trying at mediation as well as court, it's not been very long (XP and i split just over 2 years ago and are DEFINITELY still working out where we stand with one another), i'm sure her attitude will improve as he grows, and the older he gets the more say he will get in who he sees and when.

Bx