hey Sarah, I didn't see your post until just now.
I don't think it is too much for you to ask/expect your husband to support your irrational and emotional feelings.

Sarah-h is right, sometimes I think our men believe that we want or need them to fix our problems/worries, when we tell them how we are feeling or that we're upset... I had to tell my DH that I don't want him to fix anything, I just need him to 'bounce' my emotions etc off. He doesn't have to have answers, he just has to listen and tell me it WILL be better.

I am affraid that this process will not work and that disappointed ache will return and consume me all the time.
I think you've answered this best yourself
I cannot be the best mother I can to an adopted child until I have faced my fears of IVF not working and try.
The girls are right, your body is supposed to do this, and the drugs are just giving it a bit of a kick along.

Hope you decide to stay here with us all

Nic