Rara - I have suffered from depression in the past, I am fairly good at managing it and I am also a trained councellor myself......so usually fairly on top of noticing the triggers. I have really worked through alot with myself since the weekend, so I am hopeful there are no more meltdowns on the horizon!!

For me I have learnt since the weekend, it is okay....not to be okay. I have spent so many years trying to show the world I am okay, when really I am not. It sucks big time I don't have a baby. It's hard sometimes watching my friends kids around me grow (don't get me wrong I love my little darlings to pieces), I just want it to be my turn.

Thanks for the hobby suggestion Sarah, really I have a very full & wonderful life. I read, I sew, I love my music, I cook, I am surrounded by beautiful people, I live in a lovely area at the foothills of the mountains, my marriage is a great one, I love my job.......everything else in my life is perfect. I guess maybe sometimes this makes the ache for a baby that much worse, I don't think there is a single other thing in the world that can make it go away.