I'm just back from my currette - a very long day...

Thank you all - although I wish that no one ever has to go through this, there is some comfort in shared experiences and emotions.

I feel very fortunate in that my experiences with all the medical staff were very positive in a horrendous situation (from the midwife in my OB's office yesterday, to the poor ultrasound dr who had to give me the definitive news, to my OB who performed the procedure today and spoke to me for as long as I wanted yesterday).

I'm going to keep in mind what you said, Possums, about going back to "normal" activities too soon. I do need to go to work tomorrow at least for a few hours but will let myself off the hook if I find it too difficult.

I spent so much time yesterday and this morning crying...and wondering why - and wishing that this cycle would have been a BFN rather than go through this. I'm also dreading starting a new cycle - I think because I know that 1 - it could very well be a BFN, which is horrible for obvious reasons and 2 - even if it's a BFP, I won't be able to find much joy there and the wait from a BFP to the 12 week mark will feel like years. (I always think ahead - I will have to try to take it one day at a time).

DH has been fantastic in terms of support but not at all outwardly emotional, but this is his way in all emotional situations and I know that inside he is very sad. Also, he wants concrete answers - and I know there won't be any (the fetal tissue test results may tell us something, but I have a feeling that nothing will give him the answers he is looking for).

I also have to deal with telling a lot of people. I told people very early because I had a visit home to the US last month at 4-5 weeks and there was no way that I could hold this back from friends who I only see once a year (we've already told our immediate families the sad news - that too was very hard).

I am going to make being fit & healthy a priority as well - although I may give myself a weekend of coffees, soft cheeses, sushi and wine. I think it will be a good thing to focus on the few things in this process that are somewhat in our control.

We are also going to try to plan some short get-away - as you say - remind ourselves of what we enjoy as TTC naturally for months & months, then the 2 IVF cycles and this have been the focus of our lives for so long that we forget what our day-to-day enjoyments are.

Possums - thanks for your PM - and enjoy your time away. I truly understand how much you need it now and I hope you have a fabulous week and indulge yourselves.