Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

[luna moth]

Nobody in my family has been through this and it meant that after the first m/c, nobody really knew how to act around me which drove me bananas. So this time around we didn't really say anything straight away, but that doesn't feel fair either. Vicious circle.

I know that feeling so well. I remember when my nephew was handed over to me, there were these glances everywhere, like people were worried they'd break me. (mind you nobody thought to not have his 1st birthday party on my EDD ) I feel like nobody, especially in DHs family, understands just how precious this makes our little girl. They call us overprotective. I call them *********s.

As much as it feels like they're not, the odds are actually on your side for every pregnancy. Most pregnancies survive and are OK. I had to tell myself this a thousand times every hour when pregnant with DD, because when you've been on the bad side of the odds, it's so hard to believe that you'll be on the other side.

And it sucks, but I fully expect to have another m/c. That's a crappy place to be, but at the same time I just think I'm being realistic.

[Freya]

Great memory Telly! I was formerly known as A N N A T. But had to do a quick costume change when some family members overstepped boundaries!

Heh, family havent been all that great a support with my miscarriages. The opposite infact but I wont go on about it because I bet all our stories are similar. Not even Dh was really supportive until the last two I had. I think it hit him then, looking at our boys, about what exactly it is we lost, even if it was in those early stages of pregnancy. He's worried now, about what another miscarriage would do to me. Cant say I blame him, I worry about it too. Worry that Im going to push the envelope to far.

That said, for myself, the whole journey led to something beautiful in the form of some amazing lifelong friendships with some beautiful women I met on here way back in the early days of the Parenting after Miscarriage and Loss thread. I think they've been the saving grace, always one step behind me ready to catch me while I fall apart and then put me back together. A small consolation but something that keeps me going, knowing theyll be holding my hand the entire way through the pregnancy and birth.