I honestly believe this whole 'you're preventing it from working by obsessing too much' is a sneaky way for people to make the failure to conceive the woman's fault yet again, as if she's not already doing enough to overcome her difficulties. How do you not obsess about something that colours your whole life? Are they insane? How do you NOT obsess about something this significant?
I agree and it is also sometimes easier for people to not try to understand the issues of IF including the uncertainty of AC working so they try to find a simple an answer as it is our mental attitude that is stopping it happen.

Having a positive attitude as possible is beneficial in getting us through the ups and downs of IF and AC. But beating ourselves up if we aren't feeling as positive as we and others wish we were is so counter productive. It just makes us more unhappy.

I honestly believe we can only all do our best at any time, supported by understanding friends and family if possible. There will always be down times and hopefully up times. I agree with Mon, taking time out from the TTC rollercoaster can be beneficial, especially to discover that old you the carefree, happy one. AP also definitely helps me cope. I have no idea if it does anything beneficial medically but the improvement in my mental health and happiness is remarkable.

LTTTC is a painful journey. I think we need to accept that but live it the best we can with what tools we have. A big break through for me was to accept I was grieving and that I was grieving a loss that has no end (at the moment). When someone close to us dies we grieve. But there is an end or at least a moving on and acceptance. When we hold onto the hope of one day being parents our loss is for what may be. Society has a hard time understanding where we come from and we don't get the support we sometimes need.