baby dreamtime- I am glad you are doing your best to get to a place where you can move forward in the new year. I am doing the same thing right now to be honest, and have found the comments on this thread very helpful to me personally too.
I thought I needed to be positive...I thought I needed to be strong and move onwards...I realise now, I can be moving onwards, and also be sad, and angry and grieving...and that that's OK...that's something I hadn't really acknowledged before reading everyone's experiences. Of course, when we can be in a place feeling positive, that will help our own well being if nothing else.
I hope it helps you too...and that come the new year, we both get our BFP and our forever baby in our arms....