Thank you so much for making this post a sticky.

After 4 years of secondary infertility, IUIs, IVFs... I am conditioned to expect disappointment and grief. I have developed all these coping strategies to expect failure, and how the hell do I now just switch that off? I can't! 4 years of conditioning is a lot to now change to anticipate success.

I am almost 14 weeks, and feel utterly disconnected from this pregnancy. With my DS (took 2 years to conceive but needed just clomid) I named him early, spoke to him all the time and felt a bond instantly. Now, we have such a close relationship. I am beating myself up that I barely acknowledge this child so far, and worry about our eventual bond.

I just cannot seem to believe it is real, I am forever living in fear, waiting for the crunch to come - because its inevitable, thats what we do. Its what we've always done - fail. The alternative: another baby - just seems like such a far fetched concept.

Maybe when I feel movements? Maybe when we buy things? Maybe not til the baby arrives. I don't know, but its tough. I thought I would enjoy this far more than I have so far. I keep tryig to retrain my thoughts, but its hard. Thank you for this post, and showing me its normal for LT's, it has helped a lot.